Self reminder.

I know I am loved. I am loved every hour of every day even though I don't feel it. But, I know I am loved. I realize that the affirmations of my peers are hollow and unfulfilling, that is why I constantly crave them. They do not fill the imaginary hole I have dug for these absent minded gestures. I need to realize that being left out from an activity by people who you call friends is non-exisitant. If they were your friends they would make an effort. Making the effort is how we build the relationships that will last for so long. I am done with pursuing false hope and expectations that I set for my 'friends' because they will never be fulfilled. ever.  Maybe it is just that is group of individuals is not the right fit for me, because I am feeling the blisters popping up from constantly being rubbed the wrong way and its causing me pain. So, I need to find a new place to fit in. A place that I can grow but still have protection. In this metaphor, camp is barefoot in a grassy meadow, free of constraint and it just feels damn good.