Fighting Tragedy with Comedy

My whole life I've never really had anything truly horrendous happen to me and I am thankful for that. What I do have are bad days and sometimes bad weeks. Today was one of those days. To combat my despair and what was thrown at me I whip out my greatest weapon. A positive outlook. Sure in the beginning it is my greatest mask, but if it is what keeps me together so be it. This is the time for me to be strong, to believe in myself and my endeavors. I need to be. This next week is going to be a big test to see how I can deal with all the shit life has to throw at me. Failing is not an option, it never is.

So this is what I say now: Bring it.

Still Throwing Sticks.

My tears are running a marathon
down my cheeks
trying to find the place
where your shoulder should be.

The silence is deafening
I long to hear your voice.
Even a day without you
kills a piece of my heart.

I don't have much of it left now
ever since I gave you most of it.
I hope you're keeping it safe
Because it seems I'm still
throwing sticks at the remains I have.

A million what if's pollute my mind
making me doubt all the truth
I know deep inside.
Help me know you are
still there for me
There to hold my hand the next time
our eyes meet again.

Composing for a Grade

I do not mind composing music. My problem comes when I have to be stuck in a box of rules and regluation to create this composition. I can see the creativity slipping through the chords only to be watterd dwn by Roman numerals and perfect authentic cadences. I really feel like just handing in a blank piece of paper saying that its a new contempory piece its called,  "My Mind After This Class." The teacher is not even here today to help and talk me off this ledge.

It'll all get better by the weekend. :)

A Hundred Miles Away

You fell asleep next to me
and I take in each breath you take
as you lay silently dreaming.
I wish I could know your dreams.
What is being created
in that beautiful mind of yours.
you are almost a hundred miles away
but tonight you feel inches away.
So close I can feel your warmth
and hear the deep breaths you take every so often.
I want nothing more than
for you to be next to me as we both dream.
Dreams that take us together
to a place neither of us are familiar with.

I type quietly,
for I want not to wake you
from this peaceful sleep.
I thought for a long time
how I no longer believed.
Believed I could write.
Believed I could find someone
as perfect as you.

New Love

As the snow falls
for the first time
A love starts to blossom
like a new flower
pushing its way up
through the layers of soil.
Reaching towards the sky
soaking up every ounce of the moment.

Everything is new
and the moon takes on
a new brillance.

The moon

Can we all just admire the moon beams that are coming off the moon tonight?

Just breathtaking.