Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
By You I Mean Me
What do you do
When there's nothing there
And empty heart and a cold stare
Falling apart piece by piece
There is no peace
Nothing but a gaping black hole
Sucking all the light out of life
Nothing can escape it
There is no use running from it
It will still be there waiting
You look for a life raft
Nothing is there
You try to grab onto something
There us only dark
You call for help
No one can hear you.
Music only makes the silence louder.
Despite all attempts
Judgment still judges you
Anger is still pissed off at you
Loneliness creeps in your corners
Fear still grabs your arm and won't let go
Resentment still sleeps in your stomach
When there's nothing there
And empty heart and a cold stare
Falling apart piece by piece
There is no peace
Nothing but a gaping black hole
Sucking all the light out of life
Nothing can escape it
There is no use running from it
It will still be there waiting
You look for a life raft
Nothing is there
You try to grab onto something
There us only dark
You call for help
No one can hear you.
Music only makes the silence louder.
Despite all attempts
Judgment still judges you
Anger is still pissed off at you
Loneliness creeps in your corners
Fear still grabs your arm and won't let go
Resentment still sleeps in your stomach
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunrise, Sunsets
We met in early June
Your smile lit up the room
Just like the sunbeams
Clearing away the rain
Outside
Your face
It makes me feel brand new
And I wonder how your souls fits to mine
Does it fit like a bird fits in the sky
Wildflowers are growing all over my skin
Their roots are burrowing deep within
They touch the deepest parts of my heart
Like your hand running through my hair
My fear is lost in your eyes
Cause I know your not just some other guy.
The world could be set aflame
And I wouldn't care
As long as you were standing there
Next to me holding my hand
Watching as the world fades
To gray
Sunrise
Sunsets
The world still starts again
Sunrise
Sunsets
The world keeps on turning
Your smile lit up the room
Just like the sunbeams
Clearing away the rain
Outside
Your face
It makes me feel brand new
And I wonder how your souls fits to mine
Does it fit like a bird fits in the sky
Wildflowers are growing all over my skin
Their roots are burrowing deep within
They touch the deepest parts of my heart
Like your hand running through my hair
My fear is lost in your eyes
Cause I know your not just some other guy.
The world could be set aflame
And I wouldn't care
As long as you were standing there
Next to me holding my hand
Watching as the world fades
To gray
Sunrise
Sunsets
The world still starts again
Sunrise
Sunsets
The world keeps on turning
Sunday, October 24, 2010
i got really bored
200. My middle name is: May
199. I was born on: May 10, 1994
198. I am really: lonely
197. My cell phone company is: Verizon
196. My eye color is: blue
195. My shoe size is: 8.5-9
194. My ring size is: 8?
193. My height is: 5'5
192. I am allergic to: nothing
191. I was born in: Brick, Nj
190. I live in: Fork-ed River
189. The last book I read was: don't remember, wish I could.
188. My bed is: warm
187: One thing you hate about yourself: lack of courage in situations
186. One thing you’ve always secretly wanted: a tree house
185. The best popcicles: blue :)
184. Corn: sweet
183. Ever used a typewriter? yes
182. Did you ever have a NEOPETS account? ha yeah.
181. Plaid: okay
180. The Price Is Right: kind of boring
179. My favorite Holiday is: Christmas
178. The perfect kiss: ...:)
177. The last three cd's I bought are: Twilight Soundtrack, Emmy Rosum, Wicked
176. Last song that made me cry was: I Didn't Know I Loved You So Much from RepoMan
175. Are you single or taken?: single
174. If your taken, by who?: .....
173. Do you like being single/taken?: i think i'd rather be taken
172. Camping means: memories <3
171. Your longest relationship lasted: ...
170. What did you do last night?: Skyped
169. If you were a pro artist, what’s the first thing you’d draw? The view from the dock at Jburg
168. Mario or Luigi: Luigi
167. Mix Matched Socks: cute
166. Thanksgiving means: family
165. Old School: sometimes
164. Been on vacation without your family: i would consider Jburg a vacation
163. How many Disney movies do you own? all the classics except for Cinderella
162. What makes you smile: hugs
161. First thing you do when you get home from school: pass out or facebook
160. Your name in Pig Latin: Abi?
159. Best form of entertainment: small parties with friends
158. Do you use a certain towel: nope
157. Paris is: beautiful
156. Musicals are: what i do in my spare time and take over my life from December - Feburary
155. How much change do you have in your pocket: i don't have pockets
154. You’re obsessed with: music
153. Dixie Chicks: ehh
152. WWE: no
151. Means of Transportation: bike
150. Double Decker buses: never been on one
149. Ever been in a Limo: nope
148. Closest thing to you on your left: Beatles Anthologies
147. Best kind of soup:cream of mushroom
146. Your earliest memory: being in a ballerina costume on my front lawn
145. Have you ever been in a car accident: no
144. Birthday Candle Wishes: i wish they came true
143. Sex before marriage?not planning on it
142. Love at first sight? totally believe in it.
141. Luck? all a matter of mind
140. Fate?... maybe
139. Yourself?ok...
138. Aliens? yes
137. Heaven? I do have my doubts
136. Hell?doubts again
135. Ghosts? YEAH!
134. Horoscopes?ehh
133. Soul mates? yes. yes. YES
::Which is Better?::
132. Tim Horton's or Starbucks: starbucks
131. Fast or Slow:slow
130. Snowmen or Snow forts: snow forts
129. Hugs or Kisses:hugs
128. Drunk or High: . . . niether
127. Phone or Online: online
126. Red heads or Black hair: both
125. Blonds or Brunettes: brunettes
124. Hot or cold: hot
123. Summer or winter: winter
122. Comedy or Horror movies: comedy
121. Chocolate or vanilla:vanilla
120. Night or Day: night
119. Oranges or Apples: apples
118. Curly or Straight hair: straight with a wave in it.
117. Present or Card: card from the heart
116. Abortion:your choice
115. Backstabbers:not my favorite people
114. Parents: get on my nerves but i love them
113. Suicide: horrible
112. Rap Music:ehh
111. Love:<3
[Last time I]
110- last time you ate without a utensil?dinner
109. Wrote an essay: friday
108. Went swimming: jburg.
107. Did something you didn’t want to: school
106. Broke something: today
105. Flew a kite: years ago
104. Watched a video on Youtube: today
103. Went out of town: thursday
102. Ate something:3 hours ago
101. Seen someone I haven't seen in a while:October 9th
100. Cried in front of someone: august
99. Grew: as year ago
98. Ate Pineapple: 2 weeks
97. Hugged someone: today
96. Voluntarily hung out with your family: yesterday
95. Kicked a ball: i kicked a stuffed bunny today...
94. Used a Video Camera: last week
93. Dressed up:picture day
[ WHO ]
92. Who swears the most:dad
91. Who is the most adorable: Kat
90. Who is the ditsiest person you know: Abby 2 :) its all love
89. Who makes you laugh the most: LT family
87. Who eats the most?any teenage boy
86. Who does stupid things with you: Kels
85. Who makes fun of you:my sister
84. Who are you jealous of:people who get to see everyone that they love
[MORE]
83. The last movie I watched: end of Invictus
82. What I don't understand is: change
81. The reason school sucks is because: grade dictate where you go in life
80. The most unsatisfactory answer I've ever received is: idk. or k
79. Have you ever dissected a frog? yeah
78. Something you own, and you don’t know why: ...?
77. The best smell: warm cinnamon and home
76. The best feeling:being hugged by a person you haven't seen in a while
75. Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my room
74. The thing that I'm looking forward to the most: adventures of next summer
74. The thing that I'm not looking forward to is: school
73. Tomorrow: should be good
72. Today: was stressful
71. This Summer: the best in my life
70. Next Week: Halloween then a 4 day weekend with LTs hopefully
69. What food do you buy when you see a movie at theater: junior mints
68. Do you make things up to make your stories more interesting: nope.
67. People call me: Abigail, Abi, Abi the Rabbi, Ab, Abs, Abba dabba, Ab-I, Abi 1 :)
66. Do you have any regrets? not anymore
65. What are you afraid of? big change
64. Who do you miss? My LT family but I'll see them soon
63. Are you happy? yes.
62. The person who knows the most about me is: Amy
61. Your closest family member is: my mom
60. The most difficult thing i did in the last past week is:come to certain conclusions
59. I have gotten a speeding ticket: no
58. Are you insecure: at times
57. Would you eat green eggs and ham? yes. and I have
56. My zodiac sign is:Taurus
55. The first person I talked to today was: my mom
54. First time you had a crush: real one? 7th
53. The one person who can't hide things from me? no one
52. Last time someone said something that you were thinking?: today
51. Right now I am talking to: no one
50. What is your dream job?Music director for a Brodway show
49. First job? babysitter
48. I have/will get a job at?Jburg :)
47. I have these pets: dog
46. I hope: I can see people soon.
45. The worst sound in the world:shoe squeaking
44. The person that makes me cry the most is: parents
43. Will you buy that special card for $15 to save 10% at a store?: no
42. Like wearing Hats? i use to
41. Best number from 8-29: 12
40. Favorite day: friday nights
39. My boy/girlfriend is: i am single
38. Tape:useful
37. Boxers:surprisingly comfortable
36. When I wake up in the morning: roll out of bed
35. Florida or Hawaii: Hawaii
34. Your favorite picture: i have a lot
33. My favorite pieces of clothing are: jeans
32. My favorite sport is:softball and field hockey
31. Last time I cried: thursday
30. My friends are: amazing
29. My computer is: slow
28. The school I go to is: PAA
27. Last person I got mad at: my mom
26. Can you draw a straight line without a ruler?: yes
25. Pens or Pencils: pens
24. Do you do things, just to annoy people?: aahahaha yes
23. Stopping for directions: depends on where i am and who i am with
22. The all-time best movie is:Tower of Terror
21. The all-time best thing in the world is:Johnsonburg
20. Your favorite song of the moment: Two Coins by Dispatch
19. Mini Eggs are: mini?
18. The most annoying person you know is:no clue
17. I lose respect for people who: don't respect people or their bodies
16. The movies I have cried at are: Click, My sisters keeper,
15. Closest friend: don't have one that is the closest
14. Overalls: cool
13. Favorite web site: facebook
12. I want to be: a person who makes a difference
11. The worst pain I was ever in was: when i broke my arm
10. My favorite word is: presh or golden
9. My room is: clean
8. My favorite celebrity is: Julia Roberts
WHERE ARE SIX AND SEVEN?
5. My weakness is: my masks
4. What I like about the opposite sex: Personality, laugh, smile, eyes
3. Who broke your heart: no one
2. One thing that makes you feel great: music,meditation, sleep
1. You filled out 200 questions because: I was bored
199. I was born on: May 10, 1994
198. I am really: lonely
197. My cell phone company is: Verizon
196. My eye color is: blue
195. My shoe size is: 8.5-9
194. My ring size is: 8?
193. My height is: 5'5
192. I am allergic to: nothing
191. I was born in: Brick, Nj
190. I live in: Fork-ed River
189. The last book I read was: don't remember, wish I could.
188. My bed is: warm
187: One thing you hate about yourself: lack of courage in situations
186. One thing you’ve always secretly wanted: a tree house
185. The best popcicles: blue :)
184. Corn: sweet
183. Ever used a typewriter? yes
182. Did you ever have a NEOPETS account? ha yeah.
181. Plaid: okay
180. The Price Is Right: kind of boring
179. My favorite Holiday is: Christmas
178. The perfect kiss: ...:)
177. The last three cd's I bought are: Twilight Soundtrack, Emmy Rosum, Wicked
176. Last song that made me cry was: I Didn't Know I Loved You So Much from RepoMan
175. Are you single or taken?: single
174. If your taken, by who?: .....
173. Do you like being single/taken?: i think i'd rather be taken
172. Camping means: memories <3
171. Your longest relationship lasted: ...
170. What did you do last night?: Skyped
169. If you were a pro artist, what’s the first thing you’d draw? The view from the dock at Jburg
168. Mario or Luigi: Luigi
167. Mix Matched Socks: cute
166. Thanksgiving means: family
165. Old School: sometimes
164. Been on vacation without your family: i would consider Jburg a vacation
163. How many Disney movies do you own? all the classics except for Cinderella
162. What makes you smile: hugs
161. First thing you do when you get home from school: pass out or facebook
160. Your name in Pig Latin: Abi?
159. Best form of entertainment: small parties with friends
158. Do you use a certain towel: nope
157. Paris is: beautiful
156. Musicals are: what i do in my spare time and take over my life from December - Feburary
155. How much change do you have in your pocket: i don't have pockets
154. You’re obsessed with: music
153. Dixie Chicks: ehh
152. WWE: no
151. Means of Transportation: bike
150. Double Decker buses: never been on one
149. Ever been in a Limo: nope
148. Closest thing to you on your left: Beatles Anthologies
147. Best kind of soup:cream of mushroom
146. Your earliest memory: being in a ballerina costume on my front lawn
145. Have you ever been in a car accident: no
144. Birthday Candle Wishes: i wish they came true
143. Sex before marriage?not planning on it
142. Love at first sight? totally believe in it.
141. Luck? all a matter of mind
140. Fate?... maybe
139. Yourself?ok...
138. Aliens? yes
137. Heaven? I do have my doubts
136. Hell?doubts again
135. Ghosts? YEAH!
134. Horoscopes?ehh
133. Soul mates? yes. yes. YES
::Which is Better?::
132. Tim Horton's or Starbucks: starbucks
131. Fast or Slow:slow
130. Snowmen or Snow forts: snow forts
129. Hugs or Kisses:hugs
128. Drunk or High: . . . niether
127. Phone or Online: online
126. Red heads or Black hair: both
125. Blonds or Brunettes: brunettes
124. Hot or cold: hot
123. Summer or winter: winter
122. Comedy or Horror movies: comedy
121. Chocolate or vanilla:vanilla
120. Night or Day: night
119. Oranges or Apples: apples
118. Curly or Straight hair: straight with a wave in it.
117. Present or Card: card from the heart
116. Abortion:your choice
115. Backstabbers:not my favorite people
114. Parents: get on my nerves but i love them
113. Suicide: horrible
112. Rap Music:ehh
111. Love:<3
[Last time I]
110- last time you ate without a utensil?dinner
109. Wrote an essay: friday
108. Went swimming: jburg.
107. Did something you didn’t want to: school
106. Broke something: today
105. Flew a kite: years ago
104. Watched a video on Youtube: today
103. Went out of town: thursday
102. Ate something:3 hours ago
101. Seen someone I haven't seen in a while:October 9th
100. Cried in front of someone: august
99. Grew: as year ago
98. Ate Pineapple: 2 weeks
97. Hugged someone: today
96. Voluntarily hung out with your family: yesterday
95. Kicked a ball: i kicked a stuffed bunny today...
94. Used a Video Camera: last week
93. Dressed up:picture day
[ WHO ]
92. Who swears the most:dad
91. Who is the most adorable: Kat
90. Who is the ditsiest person you know: Abby 2 :) its all love
89. Who makes you laugh the most: LT family
87. Who eats the most?any teenage boy
86. Who does stupid things with you: Kels
85. Who makes fun of you:my sister
84. Who are you jealous of:people who get to see everyone that they love
[MORE]
83. The last movie I watched: end of Invictus
82. What I don't understand is: change
81. The reason school sucks is because: grade dictate where you go in life
80. The most unsatisfactory answer I've ever received is: idk. or k
79. Have you ever dissected a frog? yeah
78. Something you own, and you don’t know why: ...?
77. The best smell: warm cinnamon and home
76. The best feeling:being hugged by a person you haven't seen in a while
75. Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my room
74. The thing that I'm looking forward to the most: adventures of next summer
74. The thing that I'm not looking forward to is: school
73. Tomorrow: should be good
72. Today: was stressful
71. This Summer: the best in my life
70. Next Week: Halloween then a 4 day weekend with LTs hopefully
69. What food do you buy when you see a movie at theater: junior mints
68. Do you make things up to make your stories more interesting: nope.
67. People call me: Abigail, Abi, Abi the Rabbi, Ab, Abs, Abba dabba, Ab-I, Abi 1 :)
66. Do you have any regrets? not anymore
65. What are you afraid of? big change
64. Who do you miss? My LT family but I'll see them soon
63. Are you happy? yes.
62. The person who knows the most about me is: Amy
61. Your closest family member is: my mom
60. The most difficult thing i did in the last past week is:come to certain conclusions
59. I have gotten a speeding ticket: no
58. Are you insecure: at times
57. Would you eat green eggs and ham? yes. and I have
56. My zodiac sign is:Taurus
55. The first person I talked to today was: my mom
54. First time you had a crush: real one? 7th
53. The one person who can't hide things from me? no one
52. Last time someone said something that you were thinking?: today
51. Right now I am talking to: no one
50. What is your dream job?Music director for a Brodway show
49. First job? babysitter
48. I have/will get a job at?Jburg :)
47. I have these pets: dog
46. I hope: I can see people soon.
45. The worst sound in the world:shoe squeaking
44. The person that makes me cry the most is: parents
43. Will you buy that special card for $15 to save 10% at a store?: no
42. Like wearing Hats? i use to
41. Best number from 8-29: 12
40. Favorite day: friday nights
39. My boy/girlfriend is: i am single
38. Tape:useful
37. Boxers:surprisingly comfortable
36. When I wake up in the morning: roll out of bed
35. Florida or Hawaii: Hawaii
34. Your favorite picture: i have a lot
33. My favorite pieces of clothing are: jeans
32. My favorite sport is:softball and field hockey
31. Last time I cried: thursday
30. My friends are: amazing
29. My computer is: slow
28. The school I go to is: PAA
27. Last person I got mad at: my mom
26. Can you draw a straight line without a ruler?: yes
25. Pens or Pencils: pens
24. Do you do things, just to annoy people?: aahahaha yes
23. Stopping for directions: depends on where i am and who i am with
22. The all-time best movie is:Tower of Terror
21. The all-time best thing in the world is:Johnsonburg
20. Your favorite song of the moment: Two Coins by Dispatch
19. Mini Eggs are: mini?
18. The most annoying person you know is:no clue
17. I lose respect for people who: don't respect people or their bodies
16. The movies I have cried at are: Click, My sisters keeper,
15. Closest friend: don't have one that is the closest
14. Overalls: cool
13. Favorite web site: facebook
12. I want to be: a person who makes a difference
11. The worst pain I was ever in was: when i broke my arm
10. My favorite word is: presh or golden
9. My room is: clean
8. My favorite celebrity is: Julia Roberts
WHERE ARE SIX AND SEVEN?
5. My weakness is: my masks
4. What I like about the opposite sex: Personality, laugh, smile, eyes
3. Who broke your heart: no one
2. One thing that makes you feel great: music,meditation, sleep
1. You filled out 200 questions because: I was bored
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Raw Emotion
I was really that blind
That I could not see
how much you meant to me.
The phone call shook me to my senses
And I'm glad it did.
I can't bare to lose another
In this life I carry.
I got caught up in the petty things
that don't even matter
once things are all said and done.
and neither can I
Because everyone knows in the end
we all will die.
I was just recently informed that my dad was in a car accident this afternoon and is at the hospital getting checked for internal bleeding, broken bones and stuff like that. These poem sprang from that emotion. Sorry for the morbid end of the second poem.
That I could not see
how much you meant to me.
The phone call shook me to my senses
And I'm glad it did.
I can't bare to lose another
In this life I carry.
I got caught up in the petty things
that don't even matter
once things are all said and done.
I cannot even find a single reason
that kept me from believing'.
--------------------------------------------
Blind I am
and blind I will be
So take me up into the trees
Over the lakes and rivers and streets.
Over the people I will never meet.
For they are down there.
and I am up here.
floating above them
making it rain with my tears.
And when I smile the sun comes out
to brighten the peoples days until tonight.
But the sun cannot stay for forever.and neither can I
Because everyone knows in the end
we all will die.
I was just recently informed that my dad was in a car accident this afternoon and is at the hospital getting checked for internal bleeding, broken bones and stuff like that. These poem sprang from that emotion. Sorry for the morbid end of the second poem.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Poetry & Fustration
God of wonder and God of wrath
You make a mess Your toys on their paths
God of soul and God of sound
You help the broken child get around
-----------------------------------------------
You aren't here within
because I won't let you come in.
I have the strongest doubt
But then You come back about
And I couldn't be happier.
-----------------------------------------------
I have no right to question you
But why do you do let these things happen
My dreams are crushed so quickly
under the palm of his hand.
And overwhelming sense of hate
emanates through their pores
They say I love you
But I choose not to hear their falsehoods.
Their promises are so easily broken
And once again my trust is shaking
I'll walk for cancer
I'll walk for hunger
but I won't walk for you.
Shake your fist the other way
I'm not listening anymore.
There is no tolerance is this house
You make a mess Your toys on their paths
God of soul and God of sound
You help the broken child get around
-----------------------------------------------
You aren't here within
because I won't let you come in.
I have the strongest doubt
But then You come back about
And I couldn't be happier.
-----------------------------------------------
I have no right to question you
But why do you do let these things happen
My dreams are crushed so quickly
under the palm of his hand.
And overwhelming sense of hate
emanates through their pores
They say I love you
But I choose not to hear their falsehoods.
Their promises are so easily broken
And once again my trust is shaking
I'll walk for cancer
I'll walk for hunger
but I won't walk for you.
Shake your fist the other way
I'm not listening anymore.
There is no tolerance is this house
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Colorblind
I am color...blind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am
taffy stuck, tongue tied
Stuttered shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding
I am
colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am.... fine
I am fine
links: Counting Crows
Natalie Walker
The song is more for the music/voice rather than the lyrics but I personally find the song moving.
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am
taffy stuck, tongue tied
Stuttered shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding
I am
colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am.... fine
I am fine
links: Counting Crows
Natalie Walker
The song is more for the music/voice rather than the lyrics but I personally find the song moving.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
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