Things I Should Do. . .

But am not.
I should:
1. Be creating a work ethic
2. Be a better daughter
3. Be doing what I need to do, not what I want to do.
4. Be creating something that will impact the world
5. Be preparing for college
6. Be taking of masks
7. Be more confidient in myself.
8. Be making a to-do list rather than this list
9. Be making relationships instead of questioning the ones I have
10. Be sleeping

Another Fear?

I was writing a research paper and I started to get a little bored. So I stared to examine the lamp next to my desk. At some point my palm was faced toward me and my ring my grandmother had given me for my birthday looked like a wedding band around my finger. For some reason I reacted to this sight in fear to the point where I had to actually take off my ring. Why? I have no idea because I always thought of marriage as a wonderful thing not something to be afraid of.

maybe this is a sign I'm not ready for a relationship.

Small Steps, Giant Leaps

I'm high in the sky
A bubble floating above the world
there is no fear of popping
only clear skies ahead for me
Reaching to the future.

I'm taking small steps
toward the giant leaps
that will bring me closer to love
I'm taking small steps
toward the giant leaps
that will bring me closer to you

Dancing in the air
never caring which way's up
or which way's down
feeling every breath I take
and loving every moment

I'm taking small steps
toward the giant leaps
that will bring me closer to love
I'm taking small steps
toward the giant leaps
that will bring me closer to you

Living off of Love
the ever lasting reservoir
feeding me the energy
that I need to survive
With eyes open wide

I'll breathe for you
and live in you when

I'm taking small steps
toward the giant leaps
that will bring me closer to love
I'm taking small steps
toward the giant leaps
that will bring me closer to you

We Wear the Mask

WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872-1906)

10 Things I Want In A Guy

I want a guy who's eyes tell his life's story
I want a guy who's hands are rough but gentle.
I want a guy who can look into my soul.
I want a guy who respects both himself and me.
I want a guy who loves.
I want a guy who can forgive.
I want a guy who will pick me up when I have fallen down.
I want a guy.

But tell me this, does a man like this really exist?

I guess I'll just have to wait.

I Don't Want To Let Go

What I want is someone to hold and love.

I want him, not Him right now.

I know I'm going to have to wait, but how long?

How long till my one true love sweeps me off my feet?

How long till I can hold him in my arms?

PS. I never thought of my self as a hopeless romantic untill i read what i had said.

How Old are You again?

Last time I checked, only teenagers slam doors on purpose. My parents need to get over this illogical fighting and act their age.

If true.. it explains alot.

	Abigail
	The girl who is always searching for herself. The girl who feels beautiful when spreading joy to others, but has difficulty doing so. The girl who may often fear losing her sanity, because she so often comes close to it, but you never know it because she settles quietly to the side of the room. The girl who tends to keep to herself, but if you give her reason to trust her and time to open up, and you treat with respect, then you're in for an amazing experience with a beautiful person. The girl that intimidates you, in some way or another, because of her silent power, so everyone leaves her to be alone. She is highly intuitive and creative, with a vast imagination. She is strong, intelligent, and knows what is beautiful in life. The beautiful, smart girl kept to herself, drawing in the margins of her notebook, so even the boy who recognized her beauty left her alone. She's such an Abigail. from urbandictionary.com

Who would have known?

Who would have known what was to come? I took a chance and scraped my knees. In time the pain will go and the cut will heal. But I will always have the scar as a reminder. There is always rocks in the
river, but know I know how to deal with them when I come to it.

But I'll still "give the world to you" no matter how much it may hurt.

Lesson Learned

Rule # 1

Find out if the guy you like already has a girlfriend.

This is the New Year by Ian Axel

Lyrics:

Another year you made a promise

another chance to turn it all around

and do not save this for tomorow

embrace the past and you can live for now

and I will give the world to you

Speak louder that the words before you

and give them meaning no one else has found

The role we play is so important

we are the voices of the undergroud

and I would give the world to you

Say everything you've always wanted,

be not afraid of who you really are,

cause in the end we have each other,

and thats at least one thing worth living for,

and I would give the world to you

A million suns that shine upon me

A million eyes you are the brightest blue

Lets tear the walls down that divide us

and build a statue strong enough for two,

I pass it back to you

and I will beat for you,

cause I would give the world

and I would give the world

and I would give the world to you

This is the new year

A new begining

You made a promise

You are the brightest

We are the voices

This is the new year

We are the voices

This is the new year

<3