falling to sleep with a chorus of staff singing allstar from smashmouth and being accompanied by a violin and a beatboxer. this is my soundtrack to summer :)

And then I find this picture...

Really?

So I leaving for 9 weeks. I thought 9 weeks was a long time but apparently it isn't, because if it was I would think that people would recognize the fact i was leaving a but more seriously than a "have fun, don't kill yourself" attitude. I would expect this if I was going away for 2 weeks but not 9. 9 weeks is more than 2 months. Seriously? Maybe I'm just blowing this out of proportion but i would have thought that people would  want to speak to me and not just push it away or at the very least make the effort to see me. I wasn't expecting a parade, just a goodbye, But yep, I thought about it too much and now I'm sitting here venting these feeling, crying my bloody eyes out. I mean, so much can happen in that time. I could die in 9 weeks, God willing I won't though. But the point is still there and I am just feeling really sad about this whole thing. I truly feel that no one really loves me. My friend Julia gave me more of a goodbye and I'll be seeing her in 5 days. What the hell?

So... I'm a senior.

What do you exactly do as a senior other than fight with your whole class, and contract senioritis. I've done it all before and I do not see the big issue with being a senior right now. Senor year is the year to make these huge changes to my life.
Example 1: Applying to College
Example 2: Applying for Scholarships
Example 3: Balancing Everything so I don't have a melt down 2 months into the school year.
Example 4: Passing my road
Example 5: Visiting Colleges (that just happen to be where my friends are...)
Example 6: Accepting the changes that are coming up.

I am done

I hate being treated like a piece of crap.
I know I'm not.
I've been your perfect child for 16 years
I'm sick of it.
I'm not going to let you treat me like this
I don't want it
I hear the comments you make under your breath
I can hear everything

When I leave
I'm not looking back
I'm only looking forward
to what I can become.
I am so ready to leave.
Away from you
and all the yelling
at me
at whoever is around.
I am done.