Wanted: A friend

I stand underneath the moon
hoping, dreaming, wishing I was not alone.
The world is a dark place
even under a moon that light up the night
like a spotlight on an empty stage.

You need someone by your side
if you want to get through the journey in one piece
You need a friend.
I need a friend.

A friend who I need no mask for
one who will give me that hug
even though I refuse that I want one
That is the time I need it most.

But for now, I feel alone.
Though I may not be alone,
the feeling is there.

It is a feeling that cannot be filled
with Her.
She cannot give me a hug
or tell me not to give up.

However, I cannot blame anyone but myself
I dug myself in this hole
this empty friendless hole
I push people away somehow
When they get too close to knowing
Knowing me.

It all boils down
to a cup of fear
with a pinch of anxiety
and a teaspoon of despair.